Well that sucked! Not one day after I posted Awaiting Chase, I had problems the next day. It started with a little spotting on Wednesday, then on Thursday it seemed like Aunt Flo’s evil sister had paid a visit. So Friday, I went to see the Good Doc and he checked my blood then he probe me (aka ultrasound). He was not able to detect any fetal signs, just signs of something starting or started. Three things; I was either too early, too late (already miscarried), or it was ectopic known as tubal pregnancy. I had signs of pregnancy hormones but they were not doubling as a normal pregnancy should have. It was slowly rising but not enough. So we knew I was pregnant but unfortunately not in the right place. They gave me three options; one do blood work and see if hormones level is decreasing as it should if I miscarried. If not; then we have a tubal problem. Next, we can do a biopsy to scrape my tubes to see if the pregnancy hormones are strong indicating there’s a pregnancy there. Third, do an injection similar to chemotherapy (as chemo is given to kill bad cells, this injection is given to kill pregnancy cells). As we figured, the fourth blood draw showed an increase validating tubal theory. So I told the Good Doc,”Just give me the shot”. This is almost like a double edge sword; I knew my baby was growing inside of me but because it was in the wrong place, we had to terminate the pregnancy. Poor baby, I hope he didn’t feel anything. It was like, he wanted to grow but I had to get rid of him. That, my friends, was a hard concept to accept. But I have learn to accept things that I can not change. My spirits are good. I’m ready to re-create Chase. If anything, I am determined. Don’t get me determined. I will be riding Bo…..oh nevermind that! Anyways, Bobby has lots of swimmers and I have plenty of eggs to make an omellete for Africa. We will eventually welcome Chase Do-Over Gregg or Bella Leigh Gregg (if it’s a girl) into the world.
This weekend I bought clothes at Sears at Friendly Center and groceries at El Rey carnaceria on Farmington Road. At both places, I was practically the only gringo shopping (at El Rey, definitely so).
There was a time in my life when Christians annoyed me. I remember them approaching me, thumpin’ their Bibles with their wide-eyed warnings and goofy grins. I was confused at how they could talk about the love and salvation of Jesus and the evil and destructive Apocalypse in the same breath. I remember them cautioning that I needed to prepare myself for Christ’s return because “the end was near”. I rejected their message and inwardly scoffed at how presumptuous and brainwashed I felt they were. Looking back, I realize that I refused to listen and study the Bible because I did not want the Christians to be right - my treasures were here on earth and I was not interested in focusing on the hereafter (“There are none who are as deaf as those who do not want to hear”). However, human beings are both flesh and spirit. Although my flesh was clinging to this world, my spirit ached for the eternal - and demanded that I do my homework.
So…
fast forward, here I am - a Bible thumper. I now understand the urgency behind the wide-eyed warnings and the love and hope behind the goofy grins. I understand that the Bible stands alone as God’s word to man and that no other book in human history speaks of the future like the Bible. Just as the B.C. generations were called to study Messianic prophecy in order to recognize Christ’s First Coming, we are called to study End Times prophecy to recognize the signs of His Second Coming. I have had amazing opportunities to learn from some of the best Bible prophecy/Middle East experts from around the world. How do they know that we are headed toward the tribulation hour? We are among the first generations to understand the following:
“Rise in scoffers/deception”
The Bible warns that near the End Times, there will be a rise in people scoffing at the Bible, Christians, and talk of Christ’s return. “Scoffers will come in the last days, walking according to their own lusts, and saying “Where is the promise of His coming?” (2 Peter 3:2) If you’re scoffing right now â you are a part of prophecy fulfilled ;). There will also be a rise in false teachers, false prophets, cults, messages that contradict the Bible and appeal to people’s sinful nature. Many of us are frustrated with the blatant displays of evil and abhorrence of facts, logic, reason… how some people can’t see the obvious. Daniel 12:10 warned us that in the end “The wicked shall do wickedly; and none of the wicked shall understand, but the wise shall understand.” 2 Timothy 3:6-7 tries to explain that ignorance of the Bible will lead to deception. As my pastor put it, “If you don’t know your Bible, you will be fooled.”
“Rise in pestilence, famines, earthquakes, natural disasters”
(Matthew 24:3-7) I recently had a government official at my school site. His job was to prepare/inform our staff of the procedures for lock down/quarantine concerning the spread of highly contagious pan epidemic flus/viruses. The National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration stated that over the past 25 years we’ve experienced an increase in super storms and earthquakes like the world has never seen. According to Rev 16:18:“There will be such a mighty and great earthquake as has not occurred since men were on the earth.” Liberals have their scapegoat ready to go: Global Warming. The Left has appropriately renamed their religion “Climate Change”… and yes, our climate is and will continue to make some serious changes.
“Rebirth of Israel”
After the Romans sacked Jerusalem in 70 AD, the Jews were scattered across the earth - just as prophecy predicted (Deuteronomy 28:64). On May 14, 1948, after almost 1900 years, Israel became a state again and the Jews returned home. This event fulfilled Bible prophecy (Deut. 30:5, Is. 11:11-12, Ez. 36:24, Is. 66:8), and was nothing short of a miracle. Through his parables, Jesus cautioned that when Israel regains sovereignty, you will know that the End Times and Kingdom of God is near.
“Wars and rumors of wars”
“For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.” (Matthew 24:6-7). Wars are occurring all around the world, but the ultimate and final battle will be for Jerusalem. The demonic ideology of antisemitism is on the rise again. The Bible warns us of God’s punishment on the nation’s that divide Israel’s land (yet that is EXACTLY what we are trying to do) and that in the end, ALL nations will rise up against Israel and be punished for it (Zech 12:3, Joel 3:2). Revelation 9:16 discusses an army of 200 million that (combined with pestilence and natural disasters) will wipe out a third of mankind. As the world’s population rises above 6 billion, it is increasingly possible to amass an army of 200 million, but this would have been unthinkable even 100 years ago. In Zechariah 14:12, concerning the final battle it states “Their flesh shall dissolve while they stand on their feet, their eyes shall dissolve in their sockets, and their tongues shall dissolve in their mouths.” Past generations did not understand this type of instant and complete destruction, but we do â it’s describing how the human body reacts when exposed to an H-bomb.
“Knowledge Explosion”
The book of Daniel describes a great increase of knowledge that the world will experience towards the End Times. Revelations discusses how people from around the globe will be able to access knowledge instantly and simultaneously, that people from all over the world will watch the apocalyptic events as they are unfolding. While this was incomprehensible to past generations, it is common practice for us today thanks to television/internet/satellite (can we say web cams, cell phone videos, You Tube?). Our generation also understands how technology has paved the way for “the mark of the beast” (possibly a micro chip) that a person will have to have in order to “buy or sell”. This mark will also show your allegiance to the anti-Christ and his One World Religion. According to Rev. 20:4, those who refuse the mark will be beheaded. How is it that something as barbaric and ancient as beheadings will be common practice in the future? Here’s a possibility: “I will cast dread into the heart of the infidels: Strike off their heads then, and strike off from them every finger-tip” (Koran, Sura 8:12)
“Every single country mentioned in the Scriptures, regarding the end of time, that God punishes, for attacking Israel, is Muslim today⦠Do you have 365 days, eight hours a day, so I can show you what the Bible says about the coming Islamic invasion of the world? It’s all over Scripture! God didn’t forget to tell us. You forgot to read the Bible. It is all in there.” ~Walid Shoebat
Walid Shoebat is an ex-PLO terrorist and converted Muslim. As he studied the Bible he realized that Islam’s savior, Mahdi (aka: the Twelfth Imam) is the anti-Christ of the Bible. According to Shoebat, the Bible names the anti-Christ as ruler of the world, but specifically names: “Assyrian” (Syria),”Persian” (Iran), “King of Babylon” (Iraq), “Prince of Tyre” (Lebanon), “Pharoah of Egypt”. The anti-Christ will want to change time (hello lunar calendar), change laws (hello Sharia), will have a disdain for women (hello burka) and persecute Christians, Jews and all others who refuse to accept him (hello infidels) (Daniel 7:25, 11:37, Revelations). The Islamic world has announced that Mahdi will be returning soon. According to Islamic belief, Mahdi will dominate the world, confirm a peace treaty, abolish the treaty half way through (what is known to Muslims as hudna and al-taqiyya), persecute the infidels, attempt to destroy Israel… sound familiar? It’s not only Bible prophecy (Zechariah, Daniel, Revelations) it’s Islamic prophecy as well.
Jesus says that although we will not know the exact hour, we will know He is returning by the signs. “So you also, when you see these things happening, know that it is near â at the doors”. (Mark 13:29)
With wars raging, the dollar falling, Islam rising, natural disasters and pan epidemics looming, our choice of candidates for the ’08 elections - why the goofy grin? I have found the ultimate treasure and it is not of this world.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-20
Well, it’s a month into summer and I haven’t donned a bathing suit or worn a pair of shorts.
maybe i’m just a little preoccupied?
after cleaning the bathroom
i found myself just sitting there
on the floor staring at my phone
what was i waiting for?
i dont know but it keeps me waiting
so i took a picture so it would last even longer?
yeah i guess i’m just a little preoccupied..
because it will
offend Tom
Staring: Michelle B, Eva Angelina, Lala X, Suzi Best, Elizabeth Lawrence, Renee Richards, Danny Boy, Jay Scarman, Oliver Sanchez, Jay R, Sensi
I received this movie free a while back from AdultMaven and just got around to watching it. All I can say is WOW! If you want fetishes and erotic visuals you need not look any further. Underworld has no plot, it is a series of four vignettes that treads into some of the darkest corners of the mind where few people dare to go.
I firmly believe that this is one of the best guidelines for human behavior that we have.
That doesn’t mean I always follow the rule myself, though, a fact that was really driven home to me this evening and left me feeling very much like a hypocrite.
Thursday has probably become my favorite day of the week. It is not because I am one day closer to the weekend, either, although that part doesn’t suck. No, it is because of my Thursday night meeting that I attend. My home group decided a few months ago to change the format of the Thursday night meeting from an “Open Speaker” meeting to a “12 and 12″ meeting.
What that basically means is that we are reading through the book “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.” One person reads a few paragraphs aloud, and then offers their insights on the reading. That doesn’t mean people can’t chime in, or that the reader can’t later offer his or her thoughts on a passage read by a different attendee, however. That happens a lot, actually. There have been a few times I have been asked to read. On occasion, I simply don’t have anything to share regarding the passage, for whatever reasons.
But then there comes a night like tonight, when the paragraphs I read describe me perfectly. It’s not that the paragraphs introduced a completely novel concept to my mind, because they didn’t. I think that the paragraphs simply and concisely illuminated one of the biggest fears I have harbored since I joined the program.
Here’s the passage I read:
These obstacles, however, are very real. The first, and one of the most difficult, has to do with forgiveness. The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. This is especially true if he has, in fact, behaved badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. It doesn’t make much sense when a real toss pot calls a kettle black. Let’s remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. Moreover, it is usually a fact that our behavior when drinking has aggravated the defects of others. We’ve repeatedly strained the patience of our best friends to a snapping point, and have brought out the very worst in those who didn’t think much of us to begin with. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn’t we start out by forgiving them, one and all?
I drank heavily for just a few short years, and I went incognito relatively soon after doing so. For that reason, I like to think that I hurt few people for which “amends” are required. There is one person, however, who comes immediately to mind every time I even think about the amends I owe others.
That person is my ex-roommate. We lived together a few months when we were in law school. We shared a moving truck when we relocated to the pebble, although we did not live together after the move. It was only later that we decided to share an apartment again. The second time was absolutely disastrous, and I have no illusions that there is some “third time” to charm that particular situation. Granted, I am not sure Mr. J would go for a third time, either, but the key is that I know it won’t, and shouldn’t ever happen again.
What I (not “she” or “we”) broke the second time might not ever be completely repaired.
Whenever I think of her, I can freely acknowledge that I treated her badly, but it has always been followed with a laundry list of things she did that hurt me. That’s hilarious in a sad and pathetic way, really. There were many nights that I blacked out completely, of which I simply have no memory at all; yet I vividly recall every single incident in which I feel that she wronged me.
And, in that respect, I have become a hypocrite.
One of the things I have heard often in the program is that one should focus the spirit of an “amends” solely on one’s own conduct. It’s not recommended that one approaches the person wronged with the basic message of “I’m sorry I hurt you, but you hurt me, too.” It’s not generally a way that one makes peace with the past.
I wish I could say that the epiphany I had this evening immediately fixed everything. No light shone down on heaven to rid my soul of the resentments I have been harboring about her for quite some time. That’s something I will have to work on some more. If I had to face her tonight, I think I have enough control over my mouth that I would refrain from giving her a list of time she hurt me. But then it wouldn’t really be sincere. Hopefully, when the time comes that I just actually go to her and try to offer her my apologies for all the times I hurt her, I will be sincere.
She deserves that, and more.
It’s a classic example of a situation in which I simply must approach her and deal with her in a manner based solely on the way I would want her to treat me. I have to forgive her, really, if I ever really hope to earn her forgiveness. What a novel idea.
For that realization, alone, I am so thankful on this warm Thursday evening.
CAVEAT: I don’t know if you noticed this phrase: “It doesn’t make much sense when a real tosspot calls a kettle black,” but when I read it, I thought of the pot calling the kettle black. I pictured an actual pot, but because of the “toss” part, I thought it was like a chamber pot, or the compost pot Mr. J and have been so bad about using recently.
I know. “Chamber pot.” It grossed me out, too.
I had never seen that term, so I looked it up. It actually means “a tippler; drunkard.” Nice play on words, there.
Who knew?
Heh.
QUESTIONS: Do you have your own damned double standard? Being brutally honest, and I am quite serious about this request, if you have a friend who stood before you and apologized for past harms committed under the influence, how would you react?
Seriously, people, be honest.
It will give me some idea of what I might encounter on that day.
Have you ever been in my situation, and what was the result?
Ok i’m off to bed I worked a 19 hour day! I wanted to give you guys these banners for your myspace pages! I will be traveling to Tokyo, Tahiti, SF, Sac, Houston, London, Hawaii, Spain omg SO MUCH stuff to tell you.I will be blogging LIVE from where I am!
The secret SNEEK PEAK to my WEBSITE is next week. www. MissReece. com my website is FREE and seriously is the BEST most personal website ever! The first week of the launch I am giving away FREE POSTERS. I am also going to give a chance to my most hardcore fans/friends/admirers to join my personal and ELITE DANCE CREW…..The Freshest Crew. Yep you can rep Somaya Reece globally. Be a PERSONAL part of my online crew “The Freshest Crew”….this is a HUGE project I am working on. To help all of YOU succeed too.Thank you for the support. WHEN I LAUNCH THE SITE you better join my crew on my website “The Freshest Crew” we are the freshest around.
ARE YOU STUPID FRESH? xoxo Somaya Reece
Here are banners I PERSONALLY made for your pages. Support your local artist Somaya Reece! I’m cute 
My left nipple just got hard. I don’t know why that one and not the other… The fan must be blowing funny or something but anyhow onto the blog…
OK, I check out girls as much as I can. Why? Cuz they are fucking hot.
I was out on a first date the other night (with a guy) and I must have mentioned the hot girls working there like 3 or 4 times; I couldn’t help myself! I was staring at her boobs as he ordered our drinks. I was checking out her ass as she was clearing the table and he was mumbling something or another.
Women are just amazingly attractive.
Please refer to Sexy Exhibit A: Sofia