It’s a convention where all of Satan’s minions (otherwise known as lawyers) gather together to devise new and entertaining ways to financially fleece the general population under the guise of providing legal “counsel.” Good times.
As my second day at the bar drew to a close, I looked at the schedule to see what topics were being offered Saturday morning. I was already there, and I had a free place to stay, so I thought I might as well stay over and get ahead on my hours for next year. The first topic immediately caught my attention.
What Happens If You Get A DWI.
That was a topic offered at the bar, and I noticed that 30 minutes had been set aside for that topic alone. I could tell you all about that in far less than 30 minutes, and I took notes. Let’s hope they make more sense than my notes about women and their jealousy of men did, because that was a trainwreck.
First, I’ll give you my own preliminary notes that I jotted down the day before, and then the notes I took during the actual seminar. There are many things about which I can not speak with any authority.
Damn it.
Anonymous’s Summary of What Happens If You Get a DWI
You get arrested.
Your license may be suspended or you might have to pay for an interlock device for your car that will periodically require you to blow and hum to prove that you aren’t drunk.
As embarrassing as a DWI might be, it’s a relatively minor offense, and if it ever happens, and that is the worst charge? Thank your lucky stars. It could be vehicular manslaughter.
Your car will probably be impounded at your expense.
You will have to pay a steep fine.
You better learn your lesson and never be so foolish again, or pray that you don’t get another one within 5 years, because that second offense comes with mandatory J-A-I-L.
When your boss finds out, that’s embarrassing, but if it happens again, you will probably lose your job.
It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a pretty blatant illustration of your stupidity, and it can happen to anyone. If you think you’re immune? Give someone the keys to your car right now, because you are clearly inebriated.
See? That probably took less than 30 seconds to read.
It is actually a little more involved than that.
Here is what I actually learned during the presentation the following morning.
From the notebook of Anonymous (with my own meandering observations italicized):
This seminar is tripping me out. I thought it was going to teach us how to defend someone who comes to us after the fact. Instead the instructor is walking us through the entire process of what happens in the process of getting a DWI. He discussed the fact that most traffic stops leading to an arrest for driving while intoxicated occur because of some problem with the vehicle, and advised us to make sure all lights and signals work.
I think that most arrests also occur between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m.
Once you are stopped, he said, the officer is going to ask you if you have been drinking. Most people immediately lie and make something up like “I had a couple of beers.” He said that you should say nothing. Answer “no” and leave it at that.
Sure, you’re lying, but who cares. It’s called the Fifth Amendment, and it still applied to drunk drivers. It’s not your job to make the officer’s case for him or her.
When the officer asks you to submit to a sobriety test, refuse.
It’s hard to do this, in practice. At that point, you are probably not even thinking clearlyânot only because you are drunk, but because you are freaking the hell out at the fact that you are standing on the side of the road. Even a completely sober person would be freaked out about that.
Refuse, he said, because these tests are designed for people to fail. Most people would have difficulty performing the tasks completely sober.
Where I live, the failure to submit to these tests is considered a violation of the “implied consent” law. The implied consent law, essentially, is the agreement each person issued a license give to submit to tests for intoxication. You can say no. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have consequences.
When you are arrested and taken in, the cops will ask you to take a breathalyzer test. Even if you haven’t had a single drink, he said, refuse the test. He explained that, because the legal limit is quite low, it is very easy to meet and exceed the legal threshold of .08. Even just one glass of wine could put you over that limit.
Yeah, okay, that is fair if you have had something to drink, but nothing at all? Why?
If you refuse all tests, where I live, your license will be suspended, although you will be eligible to apply for a special restriction license to drive to and from work. You will be presumed to have been drinking and ordered to have an interlock device installed in your car.
Seems like a presumption of guilt, which I would think would be an unconstitutional deprivation of due process, but whatever.
Ways to attack:
The officer’s report will contain some observation by the office that he or she detected the smell of intoxicants. No matter what, that will be in the report.
Remain calm. Don’t get an attitude.
Officers must be certified for the tests, and one question to ask is whether the arresting officers in your case were properly certified. If the officer’s credentials are inadequate, the entire case could be blown out of the water.
If you do submit to a breathalyzer and the results place you at or over the legal limit, you might want to request a blood test, which is more accurate.
The outcome will also depend on the judge. Most DWI judges don’t want to risk getting fired for appearing sympathetic towards crime, particularly not a crime that endangers so many. If your judge is a hardliner, you might consider appealing the conviction to the circuit court. The benefit, here, is that most district courts don’t have court reporters so if you appeal to the next court up, there is a clean record, and the result could be different (where I live, please, oh, please, oh, please don’t take this blog as the end all/be all on DWI laws) .
For the first offense, you will face a fine, court costs, and/or community services. Some areas are adopting policies that each person arrested for driving while intoxicated must automatically spend at least eight hours in jail. If someone is released before those eight hours elapse, the court could order the person to go back to jail to get credit for the entire day.
For the second offense, you are facing seven days in jail, automatically. This might be altered, however, under special circumstances. In such cases (as determined by the court), a person might be ordered to perform more community service.
When you get to the third offense (within the five year period), that’s 90 days in jail.
Yeah . . . you’ll probably most definitely be fired by that point. No income? No way to pay rent? The benefit is that you will have shelter. Think positive, people.
By the fourth offense . . .
Fourth offense? If you reach that point in a five-year-period, not only do you need serious help, but you are facing serious jail time. As in “felony.”
By that point, there will be no dismissal by a lenient judge and a benevolent prosecutor. Even if a deal is reached, you are going to court, although the prosecutor may be present no evidence and simply rest after stating the charge. There is no wiggle room, no compromise. You might be sent to a regional punishment facility, but you could also face prison.
By the time you get to the seventh DWI, you are facing 5 years in prison.
What if the person arrested is a lawyer? Well . . . in my experience, the same procedure applies to attorneys, too.
How would they know if you are an attorney, if you don’t tell them? Actually, this brings to mind a case involving one of my former classmates who got arrested for allegedly dealing cocaine. He worked as a public defender. Trust me, the police and court knew he was an attorney, and chances are, that’s true for most attorneys. When I went to court, the prosecuting attorney was my law review note and comment editor. That wasn’t embarrassing.
As an attorney, it is possible that he or she will be reported to a disciplinary committee. The attorney might be more lenient if the attorney shows remorse by proactively entering a treatment center before court. That effort on the part of the attorney illustrates to the committee that the attorney is addressing a “problem,” rather than simply facing disciplinary sanctions. It looks better.
Wrapping it Up. So that’s what I learned at the bar about DWIs. Some things, I wish I had known a few years ago, but that’s the way things work sometimes. A DWI won’t end your life, assuming, of course, that it doesn’t . . . well . . . um . . . end your life. It’s not even that uncommon. I am not even surprised anymore when I learn that someone has gotten a DWI in the past.
It’s embarrassing, expensive as hell, scary, and it will stay with you for a while. And I get why that aspect of the law works the way it does. There is a simple choice each motorist must make before getting behind the wheel of a car after drinking alcohol. There are tough penalties for those who roll the dice, but really, it’s quite simple. If you don’t want to go through all that?
Don’t drink and drive.
In other news . . .
She introduced me to the Dionysian Press.
Chrissa think it’s a pretty amazing concept, but she describes it so much better than I ever could, so click on her name to read the blog. I think you will like it. Seriously. Then, go to there, and check it out.
I have posted my blog from yesterday, and I am thinking of making it a permanent home to house all of my blogs, both from the past and future.
Now.
Go.
10 months on July 2, 2008, for those who were wondering.


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