In April 2007, a mere six weeks or so before my wedding, I did something incredibly stupid . . . .
Actually,
I did a lot of stupid things back then (no, the wedding itself was not
one of them), and most of them were directly related to the volume of
alcohol I consumed on a regular basis. That time (early 2007) was
probably rock bottom for me. I say “probably,” because I am fortunate
that I have not drunk in almost two years, and that is the worst I
personally saw my life get, but I can’t say with absolute certainty
that I won’t ever drink again. The point is that it was a rough time,
and I hope to never revisit that particular level of suckage for the
duration of my existence here on earth.
I did a lot of stupid things back then (no, the wedding itself was not
one of them), and most of them were directly related to the volume of
alcohol I consumed on a regular basis. That time (early 2007) was
probably rock bottom for me. I say “probably,” because I am fortunate
that I have not drunk in almost two years, and that is the worst I
personally saw my life get, but I can’t say with absolute certainty
that I won’t ever drink again. The point is that it was a rough time,
and I hope to never revisit that particular level of suckage for the
duration of my existence here on earth.
The
point is that I was drinking a lot, and had truly no level of control
that exhibited the presence of any semblance of that I was “handling my
business.”
point is that I was drinking a lot, and had truly no level of control
that exhibited the presence of any semblance of that I was “handling my
business.”
I was falling apart.
In
the middle of my self-destruction, I went on a bender that lasted
several days and culminated with me calling in “quitting.” Yes, I
called in one morning and quit.
the middle of my self-destruction, I went on a bender that lasted
several days and culminated with me calling in “quitting.” Yes, I
called in one morning and quit.
I
wasn’t happy in that position and hadn’t been for quite some time, and
whatever else may be said for that particular time in my life, I have
never regretting leaving that firm.
wasn’t happy in that position and hadn’t been for quite some time, and
whatever else may be said for that particular time in my life, I have
never regretting leaving that firm.
I
have, however, regretted what I came to believe was that day on which I
self-sabotaged my own career by walking away from my job as an
attorney. While drunk.
have, however, regretted what I came to believe was that day on which I
self-sabotaged my own career by walking away from my job as an
attorney. While drunk.
I mentioned that it was incredibly stupid.
I’m fully aware of the level of stupidity I demonstrated that morning.
Since that time, I have had many emotions and have told myself many lies.
I told myself that I hated the law.
That I hated the practice in which I was involved.
That I didn’t want that much responsibility.
That I did the right thing because I was unhappy.
That I quit before I got fired, which made it all better, somehow.
But
what I have wondered ever since is whether I destroyed my own career in
that one moment when I said the things I wanted to say under all the
wrong circumstances.
what I have wondered ever since is whether I destroyed my own career in
that one moment when I said the things I wanted to say under all the
wrong circumstances.
There is a right and a wrong way to leave a job, and the way I did it that morning was a textbook example of how not to do it.
Lately,
I have wondered if that was it for me. Would anyone ever let me
practice for them? Or had my behavior made the rounds in the legal
community?
I have wondered if that was it for me. Would anyone ever let me
practice for them? Or had my behavior made the rounds in the legal
community?
Would
the fact that I had worked as a legal assistant kill any chance there
might have been of having my colleagues take me seriously?
the fact that I had worked as a legal assistant kill any chance there
might have been of having my colleagues take me seriously?
Would my hiatus be a permanent one?
I prayed that I had not done too much damage, but I feared the worst.
This state is not that big. People talk.
I feared that I was a has been before I really ever was.
I was finished.
I
really love the work I do at the law firm at which I work, though, and
have gotten some pretty amazing feedback â enough so, that I believed
an inquiry to possibly transition in an associate position might be
favorable received. I sent my boss the following email today:
really love the work I do at the law firm at which I work, though, and
have gotten some pretty amazing feedback â enough so, that I believed
an inquiry to possibly transition in an associate position might be
favorable received. I sent my boss the following email today:
Hey, ****!
I enjoyed meeting with you and ***** today!!!
I
had wanted to speak with you about a more personal matter, but I know
that, with your injury, your time in the office is a premium. I wanted
to shoot you an email to broach the subject with you, though, if that’s
okay?
had wanted to speak with you about a more personal matter, but I know
that, with your injury, your time in the office is a premium. I wanted
to shoot you an email to broach the subject with you, though, if that’s
okay?
Working
with you, *****, and ***** has been a dream, and I am finding the work
I do here to be interesting and challenging. I am looking forward to
learning more about bankruptcy and social security from ******* and
*****, as well!
with you, *****, and ***** has been a dream, and I am finding the work
I do here to be interesting and challenging. I am looking forward to
learning more about bankruptcy and social security from ******* and
*****, as well!
I
believe that I could be of great service to the firm as an attorney and
would like to get on track for that transition, and now that Bitlet is
here, I also want to be that role model for her as she grows up, too!
believe that I could be of great service to the firm as an attorney and
would like to get on track for that transition, and now that Bitlet is
here, I also want to be that role model for her as she grows up, too!
It’s
just a bug I wanted to put in your ear for you to mull over. After all,
nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Maybe we can talk about it
when you have the time?
just a bug I wanted to put in your ear for you to mull over. After all,
nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Maybe we can talk about it
when you have the time?
Thanks, ****!
This evening, I received this response:
We
can talk about it to work out details, but the idea is a very good one.
I would be proud to have you take on that role in this firm. We can
discuss details at our mutual convenience. I am out a good bit until
July 8. I am out of the country starting July 13 for ten days. We
should be able to get it done before I leave.
can talk about it to work out details, but the idea is a very good one.
I would be proud to have you take on that role in this firm. We can
discuss details at our mutual convenience. I am out a good bit until
July 8. I am out of the country starting July 13 for ten days. We
should be able to get it done before I leave.
Does that sound to anyone else that I might be practicing again very soon . . . like within the next few weeks?
Because I think it might.
I
think that there is no doubt that my actions while drinking had some
pretty far reaching consequences, and that includes my career, but I
feel very optimistic about the future, suddenly, and that is something
I can’t really say with any conviction for a while (as far as my career
was concerned, that is).
think that there is no doubt that my actions while drinking had some
pretty far reaching consequences, and that includes my career, but I
feel very optimistic about the future, suddenly, and that is something
I can’t really say with any conviction for a while (as far as my career
was concerned, that is).
I will keep you updated as this one develops . . . .
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